‘A friend advised me to find a husband’: I’m nearly 50 and close to retiring. Would it be a mistake to marry and commingle my finances? – MarketWatch
I’m a single female in my late 40s with no children. At 50 years old, my federal agency will allow me to retire with a full pension. I’m planning to, as I have a significant amount saved in my thrift savings plan, and I will move to a Southern state, probably Georgia.
A friend advised me to find a husband because my impending retirement will cause me to slow down. My response was that at this age, I don’t see any reason to get married and commingle my financial life with someone else. Am I wrong?
“‘If a relationship did not work out, I would have a big problem parting with any of my pension or savings.’”
If a relationship did not work out, I would have a big problem parting with any of my pension or savings. I have worked hard to achieve and accumulate what I have, and I don’t see a life where I would have to split everything 50/50.
My friend said I could get a prenuptial agreement, but I’m not sure that will provide adequate protection. In a worst-case scenario, I would have to pay a lawyer to fight and uphold such an agreement, and that would irritate me as well.
What advice would you give a Maryland or Georgia resident who retired with a federal pension and savings with respect to getting married at this point in life? What protections can I put in place to limit any financial damage?
Jaded in Maryland
Dear Jaded,
Let me start with your friend and your finances, and then we can move on to your retirement plans and the idea of a prenup.
You don’t know what will happen in the future. You could fall head over heels for somebody. Currently, you are not building sandcastles in the sky by fantasizing about a future that has not yet happened, but demolishing them. Leave a semblance of space in your imagination for endless, life-affirming possibilities.
People are full of unsolicited advice, and it’s usually distilled through their own personal experiences and has very little to do with you. Did your friend need a plus-one to help split the costs and enjoy the lifestyle and/or retirement of her choice? Does she feel the need to stage manage other people’s lives?
Who knows? The outcome is the same: You are under no obligation to take her advice to heart, and you certainly …….